Sunday, May 20, 2012

Can I help myself? I am passionately driven by my work. I want to spend much of my time trying to accomplish the best possible results as a history researcher and curator. People think that this passion is actually an unhealthy form of obsession. But can anyone really quell a desire to create beauty and provide knowledge for others? At my age, it is necessary for me to leave some kind of mark that I have achieved something of lasting value; of importance that would make me proud of what I have become, and see the journey that I had to undertake to get to that point of success.

The young could not really understand this need to leave one's mark. Maybe age is a contributing factor to all of this. I think that I have but little time left and the only thing that is certain is the uncertainty of where life is headed. We are like on a rushing train, and every minute counts as you pass by each scenario, and it feels such a waste that you never tried to leave something that would make people look up and see, and of course, admire you for your daring.

Maybe, there are several sacrifices that have to be made to get from point A to point B. A loss of friendship; unreasonable actions that lead to rage; coldness that could never be overcome. Is it worth it? Only time could tell if such loss is worth all the trouble.

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