Pointless... Today I feel so horribly bushed. This is one of those days that I’d just like to lock myself up in a room, read a book in bed, and finally, take a long nap.
My mind's peregrination has again led me to that good old Greek aphorism: “Gnothi Seauton” – Know thyself. Do I actually know myself at all or am I just creating a consciousness that labels itself “myself?” Or maybe I have subverted that which has always been primal to me? Am I the kind and gentle person that people have thought of me as? Perhaps there is something more to me – darker, more outgoing, or crazy? How do you take off all the layers to uncover your true self?
Tina, Esmie, and I have been wishing for a long vacation, probably two weeks. Oh God, if all of us were gone for more than that, we’d get a tongue lashing from the officers or maybe get sacked. And probably, a ton of paperwork piled Everest-high on our desks to comment on.
Actually, what we really want are new jobs that would make us feel good about ourselves. Jobs that we really like, that would compel us to time-in earlier than the usual and would keep us grinning all the time. Oh, heck that would make us act like robots – ala “Stepford Wives and Children.” Shit. All three of us are about to celebrate our 3rd anniversary at this job, and still we (most of the time “I”) don’t feel anything for it.
I have just been reduced to a vegetative state…time in, do paperwork, lunch…yada, yada, yada…timeout, go home, sleep…and then back to the office.
What’s the point of this existence? Beats me. Crap.
My mind's peregrination has again led me to that good old Greek aphorism: “Gnothi Seauton” – Know thyself. Do I actually know myself at all or am I just creating a consciousness that labels itself “myself?” Or maybe I have subverted that which has always been primal to me? Am I the kind and gentle person that people have thought of me as? Perhaps there is something more to me – darker, more outgoing, or crazy? How do you take off all the layers to uncover your true self?
Tina, Esmie, and I have been wishing for a long vacation, probably two weeks. Oh God, if all of us were gone for more than that, we’d get a tongue lashing from the officers or maybe get sacked. And probably, a ton of paperwork piled Everest-high on our desks to comment on.
Actually, what we really want are new jobs that would make us feel good about ourselves. Jobs that we really like, that would compel us to time-in earlier than the usual and would keep us grinning all the time. Oh, heck that would make us act like robots – ala “Stepford Wives and Children.” Shit. All three of us are about to celebrate our 3rd anniversary at this job, and still we (most of the time “I”) don’t feel anything for it.
I have just been reduced to a vegetative state…time in, do paperwork, lunch…yada, yada, yada…timeout, go home, sleep…and then back to the office.
What’s the point of this existence? Beats me. Crap.
1 comment:
I wanted to say that I have somewhat learned to love our job. However, I can't keep the passion burning. I don't know why. There must be something wrong in the institution. Perhaps, you can help me point these deficiencies out. Maybe I was just trying to make a difference in a world that was never meant for me.
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